self portrait

Success is survival

Cue Doctor Who quote, but that's appropriate as I feel like a series about to be cancelled (the first time). Lockdown in London is not going well — whereas some of you are probably feeling lonely, I can cope with isolation, I am really prepared for that. A champion self-isolator in fact, could self-isolate for the Olympics, I have worked at home for months before and been three years unemployed. So I can cope with this new world...sort of.

What I wasn't prepared for is the forced socialisation of being a mouse in a cage with another mouse. Tiny flat, small shared's not good. Also having my dreams and hopes smashed by COVID-19 — see the previous post about my art 'career' in happier times. My business is pretty much stopped, I can't do the exhibitions I planned, it feels like the Universe is laughing at my vain attempt to pull myself out of the pit of despair of longterm unemployed and into something brighter. It is fucked, basically.

Some people from my past are probably enjoying that fact and holding Schadenfreude Parties in celebration. I realised a sizeable chunk of the BML/LJ bears were sadly NOT my friends over the last decade or so, more of a frienemy/enemy situation, acquaintances who didn't really care  — talking of the people who are not on my friendlist and some are even blocked on all platforms (you know who you are). It's my fault partly - so desperate to belong to a group of people, I let a lot of bad shit and salty behaviour slide. I don't put up with toxic people anymore, rather be alone than accept that co-dependent mess.

Hence why I don't post here much, bad memories. This is a common theme recently, there are some surprises at those during this crisis who have come forward, people who I'd not been close to but will in future. But some who are unsurprisingly bad at being a friend who were also on my mentally questionable list — usually the middle class people have devolved into 'Let Them Eat NHS Claps' privilege and moralising, to those who have ghosted me even in a pandemic where I am at risk...oh yes, I am fairly high-risk of this virus too as a asthmatic. Every cough — and us asthmatics get loads of those —  is Good Cough/Bad Cough panic games.

It's like this virus has held a lens up to all my friendships and relationship and I'm not sure I like most of what I see. *sigh* Karma will get them in the end, those bitter selfish people always do themselves an injury...why I try — and usually fail nowadays — to not be a bitter queen. Not a good place to be but anger is all I've got left.

So yes, still doing the art — only thing that's keeping me sane although I don't see the point atm. Going through the motions, because no future to that work, can't sell it, can't make a business, and the emotions I see on the page are starkly depressing and the darkness is neither appealing nor commercially sensible — but the latter doesn't matter anyway. My career has crashed and burned. Thanks COVID-19! Wish it was happier least I survive, but sometimes I wonder if that is a cruel joke, like the whole galaxy could go supernova and I'd somehow still be here, a Sisyphus toy of the gods.

self portrait

Still alive

And living in can keep your The Good Life jokes to yourself (that was actually shot in Ealing, fact fans!) - some of you knew I moved, some of you won't *shrug*, I moved nearly 3 years ago now from NW London. Happier now. Sort of. Ish. Happier it's summer but winter looms and some of you know what THAT means. *shudder*

I sometimes stumble back here and was clicking on Friend's Activity and got...nothing oddly, after the redesign. What is that for? Only just realised what I SHOULD have done is clicked on the Main feed and then filtered for Journals. DOH! I thought everyone had just abandoned LJ and me!

I'm now working as an artist SUPRISE CAREER CHANGE and you can find my work here: (ooh fancy new editor! Oddly cannot do images?). Been doing life drawing weekly for the last year, and watercolour landscape the same time (2nd one is one of my Night Painting series - more to come on that!) and the last few months oil painting, which I never really did much as an art student, it seemed a little too 'traditional'. Like the life drawing I wish I'd kept it up. The oil painting has improved immeasurably since that one - which incidentally not pushing the Gay Artist angle too much but is a series of cruising areas - that's Ham Lands. Many a nice time spent there *wink*

Oh and the last one a self-portrait, that was my first oil painting. SP #2 is unfinished and WAY BETTER but once upon a time I'd never have posted a self portrait cos of the toxic whiny *pathic people on social media who thought I was 'self obsessed' already. Yeah I have two words for them now involving sex and travel (that's if I hadn't just gone NC on their arses, I have no time for those people anymore!). That's what I've learned as I got older - that my field of fucks is barren. Don't just go 'Gray Rock', throw it at them then leave. *cough*

That's probably the biggest change, I don't enable those people by being eager for their friendship. I know who I like and respect. I know who I side-eye and avoid. Those two groups never get to meet, because I keep the latter group at a distance now. Very far away. I don't even wave at them, even. Why am I writing about that here? Well I stopped doing public posts on LJ because that's where apart from BML I met those sort of frienemies. And I felt that I had to lock it down for a long time. Now I don't care; if they even sneeze in my direction, it's not drama spirals, or upset like before, it's just BYE FELICIA! I have stopped caring for the gay scene - I am queer, not gay, bears (not a bear anymore, sorry), and anyone's respect. In fact it feels totally like the time online 1996-2016 I was in some weird gaslighting cult, in some ways. A totally different person, not really me, like an ex-cult member. I had to deprogram myself by cutting it all off. I felt I was doing it for all the wrong reasons. Dropping out completely of a lot of things, stopping the things I loved (depression is a bitch!) and then realising I needed to create anyway. I feel better for that. Lost a lot of 'friends' but found some new ones and realised who my real friends were. Ironically Kirk (he's fine, although going through stuff I cannot talk on a public channel) used to ask me why I bothered with those people, and he was right. I'm not sure why? Wanting to be liked? Well THAT WORKED WELL, LOL.

Otherwise, quite boring really - doing artwork, not dying, getting IBS and what is called Non-Coeliac Gluten Senstivity which proper doctors are looking into now, still not dying, going to Gay Shame and Duckie on occasion but not that much recently (money: see art. PAINT IS EXPENSIVE), restarting the podcasts since Jan 2018: etc. trying to start my own company, etc. Startups are scary! James one of my oldest friends - met same time as Kirk - has now moved to Australia. That is sad. John is still alive, again much to say there but not on this batchannel.

self portrait #2

I Like Big Butts

In other news, I have a big butt, it's full and it's leaking...I mean water butt. I've been gardening...yes me? In a garden? With my reputation? Apart from The Great Snail & Slug War - which is ongoing, already onto the copper tape and buying pot stands - it's going pretty well. Issues with neighbours, they want to approve everything, but we're working it out I think...might actually get refunded for my purchases!

The 200L water butt filled in a few days...scary. And all that rain was going down the gully into the non-drain. No wonder our poor phone in the wall next to that kept tripping out.

My seedlings are growing, I have parsley, thyme, rosemary and...well not sage, Cedric is a full plant. But definitely basil and oregano on the way. Not big on flowers, although we have Larry the genderqueer Lavender and his friends. They've survived the Snail Onslaught well...the poor little parsley seedlings, less so. Luckily I thinned a load into little pots before the massacre. The tradition is to use the slugs and snails as a sort of tennis practice into the road....doesn't kill them, they still have a chance of living in a rather one-sided version of Snail Frogger. A very small chance. Not me guv.

Planning a water/feature or pond, but it seems now to depend on 'approval' which could be a buzzkill...I think given the snails and pesties we have, and the fact we have birds running around the bush outside the window like a game of kisschase and 'bathing' on the dust, encouraging bird visitors and giving them something to bathe and drink in is important...part of the 'rewilding' of the garden, well as long as the wild are not snails...

Work is..well...not there at the moment but I have a few interviews. Gardens and DIY make good distractions to that. I had my 44th birthday last month and me and Kirk went to see Adam Buxton do Bug at the British Museum, then went clubbing at the The Glory, it was some sort of leathery bear night but Princess Julia brought the CHOONS! A lot of fun. I think we'll go back to The Glory.

Not much else to report...
Farnese hercules

LJ TOS stuff - over at DW

It's odd, I actually backed up my blog to Dreamwidth a few weeks ago (was looking up how to transition my blogs to ZeroNet as flat files (Jekyll, Hyde etc), or something non-WP like Ghost, sadly it looked impossible unless I make all my private posts public) and then got a flurry of friendship requests on DW...thought somehow my update had triggered some notification, whereas actually it was the dodgy LJ TOS I found when I logged into LJ...e.g.

So I think the dodgy nature of LJ re: having to comply with Russian Federation's terrible laws about LGBTQ rights, I will post via Dreamwidth. Certainly it's taken a long time to bite, the naysayers who left for the (arguably worse in some ways?) Facebook and G+ didn't happen until now...I've had a DW account - even probably an Insanejournal one somewhere out there if that's still going - for many years.

So going to switch to the backup for posting, and I recommend you do so too - eventually we'll all be over there, so I can then use that for reading too. Irritating, but good that I won't lose everything if they find the queer stuff I've posted.

So find me at
Farnese hercules

A house is not a home


John moved back in to the flat full time start of December.

It seems the more I try and accommodate and compromise my partner in (t)his flat, the more whatever I do is 'wrong'. So, sitting in the dark, without heating not wanting to disturb him. Then apparently I'm now crunching too loud? Odd since all I had was two sweets and some peanuts but apparently that's too loud, and typing and flashing lights of the servers are too much, even though they are not that noisy, Norman (the disabled man that regular has paramedic drama and leaves his TV on til 2am at top volume and drops what seem like bowls onto the floor) upstairs is noisier...but hey I have to jump when he says jump. You can't say no to him.

Last time I did and got angry cos he shut off the lights while I was eating and I wanted to not be disturbed and immediately do what he wants (as in: drop the plate and switch off the dehumidifier RIGHT THEN), he got angry using that tone, so I said 'Fuck you', he said 'Do you want me to hate you?'. Ironic since he was the one telling me to find a new boyfriend and that he was 'stuck with me for 40 years' 2 weeks before moving in back in October. Yeah, he picked his time - when I couldn't back out. Is it me or is that bullying behaviour? I don't think he even thought to the fact that I might be starting to hate him because of what he's been doing and saying. I'm too reliant on him, I suppose his thinking is. I have to take this. I have no choice.

I'm not ungrateful - he has been giving me money which I spend on food and the house which is a lifeline - and can't seem to be since that would be dangerous - but to be basically his cleaner, DIY person, PA and cook and then have to tread lightly on's hard not to go down that path, or at least be frustrated with his tantrums and eccentricities.

I still love him, but the past few months he's made it VERY hard, asking me why am I doing that (sample: why are you washing your clothes? Err, cos employers don't employ people who wear stained clothes? Oh. Imagine this every time I do anything to the flat or myself...). - you can go run in the woods with the fairies! Eat nice things! Go for walks! Life isn't like that, not for me anyway. He has the money. I don't.

It's like being with an adult toddler.

So I shut down the servers, even though NAS drives hate that. He can't stand the dehumidifier being on (even when it should be on cos the place is steaming, basement flat, the extractor fan is broken - he hated that noise too), or any noise at all. Feel like I'm walking on eggshells in 'my' own home. It's not mine though, if it was he'd not be such a cunt about it. It's only temporarily mine when he's not here. Started to feel that sinking feeling when he gets back, like when your parents got back as a kid? That's not good.

Before it was 'the light is too bright in the bed' for his tablet or my phone, so I moved out away from the bed with a table and chair to not disturb him. There wasn't space anywhere else - now there is space, space I cleared singlehandedly because he's too busy 'working' (i.e. going on long walks and abnegating nearly all responsibility) - it's like getting blood out of a stone - only cos friends bought a fridge and helped me get his birth certificate did we apply for the relief for winter fuel he was eligible for (he couldn't be bothered to do it).

Only cos I argued with the phone company and got them in 3 times to fix, and got free broadband as a result am I able to write this. I've saved him money there and hopefully with the gas bill - he couldn't be bothered to read the meter and send them the correct figure so has been overpaying for years - ditto paying for a phone line that didn't work for 12 years. The flat was basically empty for 5 years, so my dehumidifier is keeping it dry otherwise all the electrics and phone go thanks for that. No thanks for any of it, really.

He's grumpy cos of his cold he's had since December but oh no, won't go to a doctor, won't take anything except some cough mixture for it.

So now freezing in the unheated toilet until my battery runs out. *sigh*. Scared he's going to throw me out, but don't really know how to start this conversation because it's either anger from him that I can't go to sleep exactly when he does or do it how he does it, or always 'you should walk more' (helpful when I have to fix servers and apply for jobs) or 'it's all your fault' - true, but thanks for the support. Not.

He made a big thing about it being my flat also - it was his invite to come here btw. Doesn't feel like it, at all. I feel...trapped? Uncomfortable in my own home, which isn't a home. I don't have a job - many rejections - and feel utterly worthless. And this isn't helping. I feel scared of him, and I shouldn't be scared...but I have nowhere else.

He's a bully basically - I have a lot to be thankful for from him, but there's no compromise here, no middle space. No, 'Can I come into the kitchen/bathroom/do this?' when I'm cleaning or cooking, he just does it then stands there, munching food (small kitchenette so there isn't really space to do that). It's his way or the highway, it's either DIY - inc basically going over his head sometimes, although I consult him where I can sometimes an executive decision is needed - or it doesn't get done or it gets 'hoarded'.

Happy families huh? :-(

He's leaving to go back to his mobile home most of the time in March...I hope the relationship survives before then, nor he doesn't throw me out literally onto the street. I've been trying to make the place feel good for him, and not make him feel like I'm in the way, but it's not worked out like that - really the only way I could've done that is to be a corpse, really. And even then he'd probably grizzle about the flies!
holy synth

Up Against The Wall Parts 1 and 2

I know some of you like psych and folk music, and I've done these two mixes as an attempt to make a psych mix finally, but in a way it didn't completely go to plan. I felt the floatier 'summer of love' stuff didn't fit the way I felt or what's going on in the world, so I delved into the counterculture of 1968-1970's with bands & artists like The Fugs, David Peel, Deviants, Edgar Broughton, Aphrodite's Child, Kevin Ayers, Zappa etc. Also some newer stuff across the mixes I felt fitted, I can never completely stay on theme!

First part is very dark, occult in places and apocalyptic - projecting forward to a future of President Trump and P.M. May, and the Mexican wall (the title comes from a poem which then created an anarchist group called Up Against The Wall Motherfucker, so yeah, slightly NSFW - also my mixes go deep so there's William Blake and Ginsberg in there too). If it's schizophrenic in feeling then it's supposed to be, this was created around the time of Brexit and Trump being big in the polls...general feeling of 'What The Fuck Is Going On?'. I do think these things have happened before, and it's worth looking back to 1968 and beyond to learn what they did and possible solutions (and mistakes).

Come Orpheus And Sing To Me (153Mb, 1:55)

Coming from The Garden

  • The Fugs - Turn on Tune in Drop Out

  • Aphrodite's Child - Altamont

  • Saturday's Photograph - Summer Never Go Away

  • Kevin Ayers - Song For Insane Times

  • Frank Zappa & The Mothers Of Invention - Trouble Every Day

  • Edgar Broughton Band - Even Over Rooftops

  • The Fugs - I Saw The Best Minds Of My Generation Rot

  • Jefferson Airplane - We Can Be Together (Live from Go Ride the Music w/intro)

  • Aphrodite's Child - Loud, Loud, Loud

  • David Peel & The Lower East Side - Up Against The Wall

  • Gnarls Barkley - Storm Coming

  • The Deviants - Deviation Street

  • Pink Fairies - When's The Fun Begin?

  • Arzachel - Leg

  • King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - People-Vultures

  • The Joint - Dinosaur

  • Can - Oh Yeah

  • Moondog - Two Quotations in Dialogue

The Arrival

  • Aphrodite's Child - The Four Horsemen

  • Comus - Song To Comus

  • Twink - The Coming Of The One

  • Aphrodite's Child - Seven Bowls

  • Lucifer (Mort Garson) - Solomon's Ring

  • Coven - Satanic Mass

  • Fifty Foot Hose - Cauldron

  • White Noise - The Visitation

  • The United States Of America - The Garden Of Earthly Delights

  • John Martyn - The Gardeners

  • Antoine - Where Did Everyone Go To?

Strange New World

  • Big Brother & The Holding Company - All Is Loneliness

  • David Axelrod - The Human Abstract

  • Butthole Surfers - Strangers Die Everyday

  • Oleg Buloshkin - Sacrament

  • The Insects - She Moves Through the Fair

  • White Noise - Your Hidden Dreams

  • Free Design - An Elegy

  • Suzanne Vega - Song of Sand

  • Dionne Warwick - The Windows Of The World

  • Bonzo Dog Band - Them

  • Moondog - Cuplet

And the second part, well the first section is about politics - I suspect those in the US might appreciate the first 4-5 tracks although might not know about The Clangers. The rest is darker and less about the state of the nation and more about the state of the person. My impending move to John's, and what's been going on with me and my hatred of 2016. A lot of nice folk and songwriting from Sandy Denny, Jimmy Webb, Bill Fay, Jackson C. Frank, Jackson Browne, Paul Simon et al.

This is more about after the Summer of Love, the autumn and winter. Winter Is Coming...the down side of dropping out and tuning out, there are quite a few barbs in there, criticisms of the Summer of Love (reading about 1966 atm in fact).

And the spoken word in the Fatima Yamaha (yes it's not all psych/folk, but mostly is) is how I feel at the moment. You can't rely on anyone, it's true.

"Tear down the walls...Won't you try?" (138Mb, 1:49)

Up Yours 2016:

  • David Peel & The Lower East Side - I Like Marijuana

  • Clangers - Vote for Froglet b/w

  • The Waterproof Candle - Electrically Heated Child

  • The Fugs - Wide Wide River

  • Strawberry Children - One Stands Here

  • Edgar Broughton Band - Up Yours

  • The Holy Modal Rounders - The Pledge

  • Fingertrouble - These Days

  • Sandie Shaw - Are You Ready To Be Heartbroken

  • The Fugs - Exorcising the Evil Spirits From the Pentagon October 21, 1967

  • Bill Fay - Screams in the Ears

  • Fatima Yamaha - What's A Girl To Do

  • The 5th Dimension - Pattern People

The Dark Empty Room

  • Jason Paul - Shine A Little Light Into My Room

  • War - Slippin' Into Darkness

  • Moondog - Why Spend a Dark Night with Me

  • Paul Simon - Flowers Never Bend with the Rainfall

  • Jackson C. Frank - Dialogue (I Want to Be Alone)

  • Sandy Denny - Next Time Around

  • Jimmy Webb - Three Songs (Let It Be Me, Never My Love, I Wanna Be Free)

  • The Kinks - Strangers

  • Zombies - Smokey Day

  • The 5th Dimension - Requiem: 820 Latham

  • Michael Kiwanuka - Rule the World

  • The Network - Ears Of Stone

  • The Executives - Parenthesis

  • Sandy Denny - Milk and Honey

  • Nico - The Fairest Of The Seasons

  • Johnny Rivers - Sweet Smiling Children

Moving On

  • Charlie Poole - It's Moving Day

  • The Carnival - I'm Going Home Tomorrow

  • Sandy Denny & The Strawbs - On My Way

  • Jefferson Airplane - We Can Be Together

  • Hugo Montenegro & His Orchestra - When It Was Done

  • Bill Fay - Be Not So Fearful

  • Sandy Denny - No End (Solo Piano Version)

  • The Fugs - We're Both Dead Now, Alice

P.S. Here's the original 1968/Olympics inspired artwork, I might get into trouble for the Trump one, inspired by a shirt worn and I think printed by B. Dolan. I remade it. Just don't shoot him, mmmkay? I'll be in deep shit if one of the NRA-types goes off script...

Farnese hercules

What can I say?

I go to Glastonbury, and come back to find that not only is the country completely fucked, an added bonus is all the neo-Nazis and right-wing fascists who thought shooting Jo Cox was kinda fun have come out of the woodwork.

I'm really really sorry...I thought we were better than this? I voted Remain by postal vote well before the racist Nazi-baiting poster from Farage, well before the 350 million bus that apparently was complete lies (admitted the day AFTER the referendum) and it looks like the Union is no more.

And then complete showers like Hillary Benn, a man nothing like his father, decide to stick the knife in, and suddenly it becomes Jeremy Corbyn's fault in the media, conveniently ignoring Farage, BoJo, Gove, and all those c*nts. But of course, at the time when a united front could stick it to fascists and right-wingers who are all claiming to quite like brown and black people and get REALLY upset if you suggest they are racists or fascists but are strangely quiet about the 57% uptick in racist attacks and hate crime since Thursday. "If you have a racist friend, then our friendship has to end..." - silence is NOT an option. Same frigging people moan about moderate Muslims doing nothing and staying silent, so how does it feel the other way? These idiots are doing it in your name, the name of the 52% who a lot of them Bregretted it in the morning and googled AFTER the vote what the effect would be. Really? I'm stuck on a damp island with 17 million fucking idiots. HELP!

And they'll never learn - they never supported the people who were telling them how it was, they're crying now for the Socialist/AFA/Hard left Cavalry to come over the hill but sorry, you destroyed the grass roots by voting for twunts like Thatcher and Cameron, what do you expect? Consistently destroying and mocking the people who resisted the fascists in the 1970's, well eventually they retire, get bored, grow old, go do something they can make a difference with. It's a thankless task, and if you marginalise the left and continue what Thatcher did with the Miner's Strike, well then you can't expect them to be there to help you, can you? I say let it burn, and remember Rome. Fiddle, fiddle!

Fed up with this idea because socialists haven't had their empathy and good-nature surgically removed, that when the right-wingers inevitably screw it up with neglect or as in this case complete and utter stupidity, we are supposed to parachute down and fix it, so basically the Left are always fixing the Right's fuck ups - and then we're told that it's unworkable, "where's your utopia, your revolution"? And then shortly after: "I'd rather vote for my own wallet and screw other people"...and the cycle of dumb continues.

You don't deserve democracy if you can't bother to even Google BEFORE the election what it might mean. You don't deserve to be saved from your own stupidity when again and again the Good Side of Not Being A Dick and not shitting on your fellow man gets ignored for scare tactics, Project Fear, and hatred. You get the fascist government you deserve - sadly it will take the 43-odd million people with you, some like me who voted for sense and unity, and didn't think we were still an Empire, that sovereignty means shit in an age of geocorporates, it's not the 1940's despite the austerity cupcakes and Keep Calm And Ignore The Fascists signs. Next one telling me that I should 'Calm Down' and I should 'Group Hug' racists for the sake of 'unity' and propping up an awful Government will get a Keep Calm And Carry On branded 2x4 around the head. Repeatedly.

But don't you DARE blame the Left and us who warned you, who wanted to stop the poorest and weakest from being trampled, as they are now. If you voted to Leave, or didn't vote at all, you cause this, and you alone. Don't point the finger at others, it's not some reality show, you don't get to phone a friend, you don't get 50/50, you don't get another go. This is real life, people are being attacked, firebombed, insulted, killed, threatened, made to feel lesser for not being 'British' - and yes they've already made it clear that despite treaties to us queers after Orlando, that we are next. As I knew it would be - because I know, once they come after the Jews, the Muslims, the foreigners, they always come for us queers. You can wave your marriage certificates all you fucking want, it won't waft out the flames as you burn.

I'm predicting civil insurrection before the end of the year, or riots in modern media spin parlance, and a lot of angry people when they realise as Johnny Rotten said 'Ever get the feeling you've been cheated?'. Already had protests cancelled because there's 'too many people' (?) and the people just flash-mobbed Parliament. It's all going V For Vendetta, and it will get worse. Far, far worse. I've been predicting this day since the fools let Nick Griffin on Question Time, and then Farage took his mantle. Never, ever give the fascists a platform, they will just (ab)use it to destroy democracy.

Only good fascist is a dead fascist, and I sadly think it might come to that, given they think murdering MPs is OK. Ones who were working on Tell Mama, a report on Islamophobia which reveals hate crimes have upped by 200% in the last few years...add another 57% to the pile. *sigh*

I'll leave you with Kathy's Song, which although a love song, it seems rather appropriate:

I hear the drizzle of the rain
Like a memory it falls
Soft and warm continuing
Tapping on my roof and walls.

And from the shelter of my mind
Through the window of my eyes
I gaze beyond the rain-drenched streets
To England where my heart lies.

And so you see I have come to doubt
All that I once held as true
I stand alone without beliefs
The only truth I know is you.

And as I watch the drops of rain
Weave their weary paths and die
I know that I am like the rain
There but for the grace of you go I.

And another rainy bonus from the same album:

Through the corridors of sleep
Past the shadows dark and deep
My mind dances and leaps in confusion.
I don't know what is real,
I can't touch what I feel
And I hide behind the shield of my illusion.

It's no matter if you're born
To play the King or pawn
For the line is thinly drawn 'tween joy and sorrow,
So my fantasy
Becomes reality,
And I must be what I must be and face tomorrow.

So I'll continue to continue to pretend
My life will never end,
And Flowers Never Bend With The Rainfall.

  • Current Mood
    angry angry
self portrait #2

A meme...

Mark with an X the ones that apply to you. via etantvert

Appeared in Doctor Who? That's not going to be many people!

Fired a Gun - X (quite a few actually; although all strictly rifles or shotguns)
Been Married
Fell in love - X
Been divorced
Swam in the sea - X
Gone on a blind date
Skipped lessons or lectures - X (Art school!)
Watched someone give birth
Been to North America - X
Been to Australia
Been to Asia
Been to South or Central America - X
Lived in more than one European country
Been to London - X
Been to Paris - X
Been to Venice - X
Been to Spain - X
Been to Russia
Seen the Northern Lights
Been on a cruise
Served on a jury
Been in a movie
Been to a Scandinavian country
Been to Iceland
Played in a band - ? (Kind of, but not properly, like on stage)
Sang karaoke - X
Made prank phone calls - X
Laughed so much you cried - X
Caught a snowflake on your tongue - X
Had children
Had a pet(s)- X
Been sledding on big hill - X
Been skiing - X
Been water skiing or parascending
Rode on a motorcycle - X
Been to a music festival -X
Spent at least one night on an island - X
Rode an elephant
Been on TV - X (someday I'll tell you about my 'starring role' LOL)
Been in newspaper - X
Stayed in a Hospital - X
Donated blood - (I can't. Against the homophobic law!)
Got a piercing
Got a tattoo
Driven an automatic vehicle - X
Driven over 100 mph
Lived on your own - X
Rode in the back of police car - X (but as a victim not a perp!)
Rode in the back of an ambulance - X
Got a speeding ticket
Got a parking ticket
Rode a horse - X
Swam with a Dolphin or whale
Been in a podcast - X (Just a bit. *cough*)
Appeared in Dr. Who ?
Have an Equity card or equivalent
Used an Oyster card - X
Have been in a play - X
Have played with a monkey - X
Have trained animals - (I don't think fish or hamsters can be trained)
holy synth

Psychodelidisco mix

Psychodelidisco (Disco Psycheness) - Full 3 Hour Journey by Fingertrouble on Mixcloud

Yes still here, still lurking...but also been busy with this mix. It's a psychedelic disco mix, not sure that genre even exists so I invented it, it's a mix of 'deep' disco, space disco, electronica, library music, afrobeat, electro pop and synth pop and even some Bollywood space disco and other gems! It took me 9 months, hence why it's probably 3 hours! There are more easily digestible 1 hour chunks over at my Mixcloud.

You can find out more above or over at my blog:

Also posted the first of the remixes I did for it, I did quite a few 'remasters' on these old disco records, but some I did the whole remix/re-edit treatment. This one - a cover of Gloria by Midnight Stud - is the first posted up: